“Foster children” is a common term referring to children who are wards of the state, being cared for by authorized agents, or “foster parents,” of the state. The children live in the foster parents’ homes as part of the family. Foster children range in age from newborn to eighteen years old, may or may not be in contact with their birth family, and may or may not be available for adoption.
Foster children will be separated from everything that is familiar to them: their homes, their extended families, their beds, blankets, sheets, toys, and often even their siblings. They often arrive at the foster home with nothing more than the clothes on their backs.
What is Expected of Foster Parents?
Successful foster parents will be expected to provide day to day food, shelter and clothing for the foster children. The state will provide a voucher or reimbursement to get necessary clothing and toiletries immediately. From that point on, the foster parents will receive a monthly reimbursement check for the previous month’s food, shelter and clothing.
Foster parents are expected to feed foster children nutritious meals which are no different than what the rest of the family eats. These children are not to share a bed unless it is with a same-sex, age-appropriate sibling (the regulations vary from state to state,) but they may share a bedroom with other same-sex children.
Foster parents are to provide adequate education for the foster children in their charge. Usually this means the foster parents are responsible for transporting the children to public school (the children may ride school buses.) The parents should be in contact with the teachers and aware of any problems the foster child is having at school. All problems are expected to be reported to the case worker. In some states, foster children may be homeschooled by their foster parents.
What About Medical Issues?
The foster parents are expected to provide transportation for the foster children to all counseling and medical appointments. Sometimes the state will provide transport to such appointments if there are extenuating circumstances preventing the foster parents from attending these appointments.
The state pays for all medical costs for the foster child. Foster parents are expected to provide prescribed medications and administer care as directed by a physician. They may administer over-the-counter medications as necessary, but are expected to keep a log of all medications.
If foster children exhibit any odd or unusual or dangerous behavior, the foster parents are expected to report it to the case worker and/or counselor and medical professionals as appropriate. These parents are expected to discipline the children without using corporal punishment or any other methods that could injure or traumatize the children. In many cases the foster parents will be expected to work closely with the counselor to carry out a treatment plan for disciplining inappropriate behavior.
What Do Successful Foster Parents Do?
Successful foster parents know that it takes much more than love to help a foster child feel secure. These parents are consistent. They say what they mean and mean what they say. If the foster child can anticipate a stable routine and consistent discipline, he will feel safe.
Many foster children feel that abuse demonstrates love because that is all they have ever known. When they become part of a family that does not abuse them, they may feel un-loved. Successful foster parents seek out ways to connect with a frightened foster child in a way that encourages the child to feel loved.
Successful foster parents understand that nurturing a foster child is often more important than teaching them. Nurturing develops security, security develops trust, and trust develops the ability to learn. Once that process has been completed, they can begin to teach those things that perhaps the foster child has never been taught.
What Do Successful Foster Parents Teach?
Successful foster parents teach those things that all parents teach: Good and bad, right and wrong, true and false. Foster children should be taught necessary and appropriate academics. Foster children often need to be taught appropriate social skills.
Most importantly, foster children, like all children, need to be taught that they have value and worth. Successful foster parents teach the children in their charge that the situation is the responsibility of the adults, and absolutely not the fault of the child.
Robin Egerton - Robin is new to the free-lance scene. She started her homeschooling blog in January of 2010, walking "Newbies" through the beginning ...
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